Listening as art

When I was just starting out in ministry and taking my pastoral care classes I realized that sometimes I had a hard time listening. I marveled at other pastors’ ability to be present in conversations. One pastor that I was impressed with had a great ability to do this in group settings. Listening to what was being said, recap the mood and help move the conversation along in a productive way. Helping others to listen to what the group was saying. Not all the time mind you but enough times for me to notice how this pastor listened.

When I began doing pastoral care calls, I realized that there is a rhythmic sound to our voices, almost musical in terms of tones, the ups and downs. So, in a sense, at least in my own spirit, I began to listen to the music in the voices of those who are talking. What this helped me understand, and a tool for pastoral care that I gained, was a way to quiet my mind and truly listen to what was being shared, listening for the spirit of the speaker through the rhythm and tones of their voices.

Matthew 11:15 Whoever has ears, let them hear.

For most of us we are hearing the sounds in a conversation, and we are processing our response instead of truly listening. We are hearing to respond instead of really listening for the other persons heart and soul. This continues to be a challenge for me at times, even to the point of interrupting instead of listening. I work at listening instead of hearing in order to reply.

Listening may feel like a lost art, it is an art form that is sorely needed.

We possess an ability to proclaim, loudly and destructively all too often, instead of listening with curiosity. This causes me to wonder, are we hearing what we want to hear from the people who don’t challenge us to listen deeply. When we listen deeply and with curiosity it may challenge our long-held beliefs. This may be why we can hear without listening. When someone challenges our deep, long-held beliefs, our minds check out and we lose touch with our other ability, our spiritual ability to listen to the music in the voices of our conversation partner.

Instead of talking at one another we may do well to step into every discussion as a spiritual exercise in conversational partnership. If we can approach our discussions from this point of view, then maybe we can stop the destructive pattern of yelling political talking points at each other like tiny little stones that together are ruining our collective spirit.

Imagine sitting in a locked room. Your assignment is to prove your point. But the other person just sits and yells at you, loudly and rudely. Almost to the point of calling you names and insulting you personally simply because they disagree. Calling into question your personhood even. That sounds to me like a very spiritually draining and costly endeavor. Most of us would get up and walk out, wouldn’t we?

Well, it doesn’t take much imagination to see that is how we are treating each other when it comes to solving the problems of this world. We are hearing a lot of noise without listening to the truth in someone else’s story. Engaging in a political talking point debate is a much different approach than really listening with empathy and curiosity.

What this may help us understand is that when two people share, spiritually share, and spiritually listen to one another, the grace of God can be exchanged. With the help of the presence of the Grace of God we may begin to heal and repair what we have broken.

Isn’t that the point after all? To heal from brokenness of the world and ourselves.

The benefit of listening with our spiritual ear is two-fold.

First, we see and hear the divine spark in our conversation partner. We see their humanity and they see ours. When we listen to the truth in someone else’s story and they in turn listen to our truth we are engaging in spiritual dialogue and the Grace of God is invited into the conversation to help in the healing process.

Second, we train ourselves to listen for the presence of God in every moment. We tune our spiritual ear to the vibrations of creation and the sounds of humanity. Through the ebbs of worry and flows of our joys, God continues to reach out to us within the sounds of our lives and our shared humanity. Can we hear it? Can we take time to hear with our spiritual ear so that we can listen to the presence of the Divine in all of us and within all of creation?

For if we are truly tuned into the songs of our lives, listening with our spiritual ear, we can hear the presence of God in everything, even our worries and the difficulties of our world.

For if we are truly tuned into the songs of our lives, we can hear the heartbeat of humanity in everyone and we can witness to the divine in everything.

If we listen for the healing presence of God we may just hear our own heartbeat echoing in our spiritual ear.

If we listen for the healing presence of God we may just hear our own heartbeat echoing in our spiritual ear.